Fifty Shades Later: An Inevitable Conclusion (Fifty Shades of Neigh Book 3) by Anna Roberts

Author:Anna Roberts [Roberts, Anna]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Anna Roberts
Published: 2014-02-01T05:00:00+00:00

Epilogue

All through the funeral, I can feel Jesús simmering away like a pressure cooker. It’s only when we’re walking away from the graveside that he finally cracks and says what’s on his mind.

“Do you think he’s definitely dead this time?”

I shake my head. “Dude, a sandworm bit his head off. Why do you think it wasn’t an open casket viewing?”

It was a grim enough viewing. There’s something deeply macabre about a pink coffin covered in My Little Pony decals. Worse, a bunch of people from different viewings kept drifting through the funeral home and telling everyone how sorry they were, and how the death of a child is always the most poignant. Nobody wanted to explain that we were here because of the death of a manchild, and Hanna didn’t exactly help with this impression with her constant wailings about her poor baby girl.

The custody case didn’t go well.

The cemetery trees are turning red and gold. Once more round the sun, I guess. The grass is wet underfoot and both me and Jesús walk on the balls of our feet to keep our heels from sinking. He offered to just be Jesús for the funeral, but I said I didn’t mind him being Jessica. After all, it’s no secret that Jessica Waters bought RIP Publishing from the Neighs. And he looks disturbingly good in a little black dress.

Ahead of us, half of the Neigh family are arguing about who is most the grief-stricken among them, while the other half are skipping crazily around in cat/folf ears. When I say the custody case didn’t go well I mean it went badly for them. It went pretty well from Celestia’s point of view. Her dad doesn’t seem like the sort to mislay his children in Ralph Lauren boutiques.

“You wanna go onto the wake?” asks Jesús, as we step onto the path. A jogger bounces past us.

“Meh. Not really.”

“Yeah,” says Jesús, peering over at the Neighs. “I can think of about a dozen other people I’d rather get hammered with.”

“A dozen?”

“Well,” he says. “You know. One.”

I shouldn’t. I know I shouldn’t. Hanna and her money and her incredible stupidity have a way of taking you away from reality, the kind of reality where you might well get your heart broken all over again. But I do it anyway and kiss him.

The jogger comes back round for a second look.

“Take a fucking picture,” says Jesús. “It lasts longer.”

“Okay,” says the jogger, and gets out his phone.

I can’t help it – I laugh. We watch him go. “Dude,” I say. “Now everyone will know you’re a lesbian.”

Jesús shakes his head. “Oh my God. I’m a closeted heterosexual.”

“I guess. Until you come out and admit you’re a man.”

He looks me up and down for a moment. “Do you want me to do that?”

I shrug. “Wouldn’t that be really bad for Jessica’s career?”

“I have no idea. I honestly don’t have a clue how that would play out with the fans.”

“Well, you know what they say – if it ain’t broke.

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